It Pays to Play

I have a shoe problem. Now, I know I'm not the only one in the world with this problem, but while I was trying to fall asleep last night (somewhat unsuccessfully), I realized that if I wore a different pair of shoes everyday, weather permitting, that I could make it about a month without repeating a pair. And I'm just talking the shoes in my apartment, not in my closet at home.

And I want MORE! In fact, I saw these yesterday and fell in love:http://www.shopcuffs.com/steel-stalkers.html $48

I immediate sent to the link to my boyfriend with the line, "Buy me! Size 7 please." This never works, but I do it anyway, just in case.

Later on, however, while randomly browsing at gojane.com, I found these:
http://www.gojane.com/37252-shoes-lace-up-cut-out-suede-bootie.html $20.20

Yes, these are the same shoes. Exactly. For approximately $28 less. However, after some sleuthing and emailing, I found that gojane doesn't have my size, and will not likely get more.

Easy come, easy go.

No worries, though. Give it a week or so, and I will most assuredly have more shoes. Where there's a will, there's a way.

I Change Shapes

I want to see mountains. REAL mountains.

I want to climb them. Smile at them. Feel them.

I want to see the ocean. I want to walk in the ocean.

I want to breathe in the salty air.

I want to feel a new place. Take it in.



When I moved away from home to attend school, I felt new. I felt like I was really branching out and seeing the world. Now I feel stuck. I am stuck. Madison is a beautiful city, but it is becoming painfully familiar.

It Takes One to Know One

Lately, I have been wanting new things. Not sometimes, but ALL THE TIME.

I, of course, can "control" myself, but apparently only to a certain point. Despite the fact that I just sent the rent check in, and will have to load up on this semesters books by the end of the month, I want new things and am constantly attempting to persuade myself that its okay.. because.. you know, I deserve it.

For example, last week, I bought a new purse. Its not even like I walked into a store, fell in love with it, and couldn't walk out of the store without it. I saw it in a photo for a giveaway, entered the contest, but then decided that I wouldn't win, but still needed it (yes, needed) and ordered it from an online boutique. Say what? Yeah, I just.. did.

Today I had nothing to do. Nothing planned whatsoever. While I did manage to keep myself fairly busy, I also had enough free time to rack up a cart full of shoes and negligees on Target.com.

Sure, I "online shop" all the time, throwing things into my "cart" and then closing out the browser before things get to serious. But for some reason lately.. I can't click the close button, and instead hit "checkout."


Earlier this week, I even put a dress into my "cart" that I wish to be married in someday. I am 20 years old, and, while I am in a very serious relationship, I am not engaged. Yet, I clicked "checkout" and nearly bought the damn thing. No, it wasn't expensive, but still, I certainly do NOT need a wedding dress. No ma'am. Not now. Not yet.

What I'm saying is:

Dear School,
Could you please start soon before summer swallows my life savings and turns it into a pile of ballet flats, cheap accessories, and ill-fitting tube dresses. I would really appreciate it.
Thanks in advance,
Sam

Call Me

Do you ever feel like you are going to wake up one morning and find that the past several years of your life were all a dream?

I'm not sure why this has been happening to me, perhaps watching a lot of Lost, but I can't shake the feeling that something isn't.. right. Its not real.

I don't quite know where I go from here. I just lay awake at night and think about the past few years and whats in store for the near future. Maybe this is just a mid-journey crisis? Of course I don't want to wish away the remainder of my undergraduate years, and of course I'm terrified about life after college (money/career-wise anyhow), but I really just want to move forward. I'm ready for a new challenge.

Its not that I'm "done" with these years; I think at the moment I am just confident that they will roll along fairly uneventfully, so I am eager to see what lies beyond them.


Will I really move away from my beloved mid-west? Will I finally get to see my boyfriend more than once every month or three? Will I get a puppy? Will I find a job I love? Will the documentation of my students loans disappear in a freak misfiling leaving me debt free in my twenties?


I don't know for sure, but I can't wait to find out.