Rage X

Now that I have been absent for almost a month, I feel that I should at least post something to follow my last one so that anyone casually perusing new reads will not know me only as the blue suede shoe lover. I swear there is more to me than that.

So, briefly, since I have last posted all of my roommates have returned, I saw my parents twice, got a haircut, was more hung-over than I ever have been, and started classes (Habari gani, marafiki!)

Obviously there has been more going on, but that is all I can bear to brief about.

Also, seriously, from now on, interesting posts. At least twice a week. Hopefully one a day.


And just for fun, me at my finest:

It Pays to Play

I have a shoe problem. Now, I know I'm not the only one in the world with this problem, but while I was trying to fall asleep last night (somewhat unsuccessfully), I realized that if I wore a different pair of shoes everyday, weather permitting, that I could make it about a month without repeating a pair. And I'm just talking the shoes in my apartment, not in my closet at home.

And I want MORE! In fact, I saw these yesterday and fell in love:http://www.shopcuffs.com/steel-stalkers.html $48

I immediate sent to the link to my boyfriend with the line, "Buy me! Size 7 please." This never works, but I do it anyway, just in case.

Later on, however, while randomly browsing at gojane.com, I found these:
http://www.gojane.com/37252-shoes-lace-up-cut-out-suede-bootie.html $20.20

Yes, these are the same shoes. Exactly. For approximately $28 less. However, after some sleuthing and emailing, I found that gojane doesn't have my size, and will not likely get more.

Easy come, easy go.

No worries, though. Give it a week or so, and I will most assuredly have more shoes. Where there's a will, there's a way.

I Change Shapes

I want to see mountains. REAL mountains.

I want to climb them. Smile at them. Feel them.

I want to see the ocean. I want to walk in the ocean.

I want to breathe in the salty air.

I want to feel a new place. Take it in.



When I moved away from home to attend school, I felt new. I felt like I was really branching out and seeing the world. Now I feel stuck. I am stuck. Madison is a beautiful city, but it is becoming painfully familiar.

It Takes One to Know One

Lately, I have been wanting new things. Not sometimes, but ALL THE TIME.

I, of course, can "control" myself, but apparently only to a certain point. Despite the fact that I just sent the rent check in, and will have to load up on this semesters books by the end of the month, I want new things and am constantly attempting to persuade myself that its okay.. because.. you know, I deserve it.

For example, last week, I bought a new purse. Its not even like I walked into a store, fell in love with it, and couldn't walk out of the store without it. I saw it in a photo for a giveaway, entered the contest, but then decided that I wouldn't win, but still needed it (yes, needed) and ordered it from an online boutique. Say what? Yeah, I just.. did.

Today I had nothing to do. Nothing planned whatsoever. While I did manage to keep myself fairly busy, I also had enough free time to rack up a cart full of shoes and negligees on Target.com.

Sure, I "online shop" all the time, throwing things into my "cart" and then closing out the browser before things get to serious. But for some reason lately.. I can't click the close button, and instead hit "checkout."


Earlier this week, I even put a dress into my "cart" that I wish to be married in someday. I am 20 years old, and, while I am in a very serious relationship, I am not engaged. Yet, I clicked "checkout" and nearly bought the damn thing. No, it wasn't expensive, but still, I certainly do NOT need a wedding dress. No ma'am. Not now. Not yet.

What I'm saying is:

Dear School,
Could you please start soon before summer swallows my life savings and turns it into a pile of ballet flats, cheap accessories, and ill-fitting tube dresses. I would really appreciate it.
Thanks in advance,
Sam

Call Me

Do you ever feel like you are going to wake up one morning and find that the past several years of your life were all a dream?

I'm not sure why this has been happening to me, perhaps watching a lot of Lost, but I can't shake the feeling that something isn't.. right. Its not real.

I don't quite know where I go from here. I just lay awake at night and think about the past few years and whats in store for the near future. Maybe this is just a mid-journey crisis? Of course I don't want to wish away the remainder of my undergraduate years, and of course I'm terrified about life after college (money/career-wise anyhow), but I really just want to move forward. I'm ready for a new challenge.

Its not that I'm "done" with these years; I think at the moment I am just confident that they will roll along fairly uneventfully, so I am eager to see what lies beyond them.


Will I really move away from my beloved mid-west? Will I finally get to see my boyfriend more than once every month or three? Will I get a puppy? Will I find a job I love? Will the documentation of my students loans disappear in a freak misfiling leaving me debt free in my twenties?


I don't know for sure, but I can't wait to find out.

Polar Blast

What is this world coming to?

A popular ice cream shop two blocks from my (parents') home was robbed at gunpoint over the weekend. Although I was home at the time (I am usually about 2 hours away), I was too stuffed from Tom's birthday lunch to pout until I got ice cream (yes, this does usually happen). So, there I was alone in my room, a short two blocks away, hearing pops and sirens, seeing blue an dred lights from my bedroom window, and not knowing what exactly was happening until nearly an hour later.
One teenage boy was shot and killed, while another employee, a 42 year old man was shot and released. Four other female employees were there, but, fortunately, the intruders did not harm any of them.


While I am not reporting this to get sympathy (although I remember him working there, I did not actually know the boy who was killed), I am mostly writing to attempt to put things into perspective.

Most of my time now is spent in Madison, where I work and attend school. This means that I am often found walking home alone late at night from work or friends' apartments in the downtown area. Now, I always walk with a friend or another person if I can, and at the very least I call someone while I walk so that, if something should happen, at least SOMEONE knows. Anyway, I often rationalize walking alone because, after all, its only a few blocks. Now all I can think about is that this happened only a few blocks from where I was sitting.. a most chilling thought.

Luckily, our campus does have a program called SAFEWALK which I could call if I felt threatened, although I'm not sure if they operate during the summer season. Anyway, despite this particular crime having been committed over a hundred miles from where I now sit, all I can think about is: If this can happen where I grew up, in a place I have always frequented.. it really could happen anywhere. Of course, this also brings back memories of a girl who was brutally murdered in her apartment, about 18 months ago, in an area heavily populated by UW students. This crime, to my knowledge, has not yet been solved.

I guess what I wish to say is: we all tend to become comfortable in our surroundings, perhaps artificially so, and, while I'm not suggesting we all live in fear, I would like to say, be careful, pay attention, and if something/someone seems out of place in your neighborhood, be extra cautious and report it.

Stay safe, everyone.

Fly me to the moon.

Two days off.

I feel like all I've been doing lately is (1) waking up and thinking 'I have to work this afternoon, (2) getting very little accomplished while anticipating my work day, (3) going to work until 11, and (4) getting home and thinking 'I'm so sleepy, I should do nothing.'

But now I have two days to stretch my legs and reunite with some friends. So, its 2 o'clock in the afternoon, and I'm still in my pajamas.

I did however get a chance to check out Maxwell Street Days here in Madison, which is a giant tent sale that extends from the capitol square to the end of State Street. I wish I hadn't worked all weekend so that I would have had more of a chance to scope out some fabulous deals, but all in all I think I picked up a few nice things (thank you Urban Outfitters 'Extra 50% off all markdowns' sale). Really I ended up with some housewares items and a few scarves; I didn't really even look at clothes, it was waaaaaay out of control around those bins. And honestly, stuff was either whacked out and already in the 'DON'T' column, or still too pricey for a printed tank top. Overall, though, I was pleased.
Now I will take a break from the couch and the numerous NASA programs airing today (LOVE) and get some "fresh" air. (Why must it be so gloomy lately? And also, how long will I have to breath in the pulverized concrete that has been straining my lungs since spring?)


p.s. not my photo! in the frenzy of the hunt I failed to snap a picture, so I was forced to borrow this one. Thanks, althouse.